He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I need a burrito and a hug.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I had to cum in my sink.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
