I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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