fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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