Operation Purity has been aborted
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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