That's intense
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
