i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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