are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
