i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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