so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
he fucked my hip out of place.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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