Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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