awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
