i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Randomize
