I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
