I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
