He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Can i not drive my cunt home
Apparently you make a good broom.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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