Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
