I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
