I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
