whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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