she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
