I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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