I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
