we should wear snuggies to the strip club
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
