I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize
