when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
They took my balls.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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