i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
