So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
