just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
