Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
