I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
