Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Randomize
