Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
