White coat. Heels.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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