my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
