is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
