The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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