my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
