So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
