No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
