i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
How's work?
Spinning.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
