So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
