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Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
