I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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