also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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