I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
