I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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