Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
