i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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