I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
