New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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