Hey man sorry I got all grabby
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
