you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
